In this guide, we’ll be exploring how to combine love and consciousness to thrive in your personal relationships.
As an experienced life coach, I have held countless discussions with clients about how to add more consciousness and love to their lives.
I have no hesitation in saying that these are two of the most crucial ingredients to a beautiful life.
That’s why I’m so excited to share these ideas about combining consciousness and love for a more fulfilling future.
Let’s dive right into it.
1. Understanding consciousness & love
Before we dive deep into some of the most effective strategies for combining consciousness and love, it’s important for us to understand these terms.
There are a lot of definitions of these two ideas out there.
In fact, I found a lot of the existing blog posts surrounding the combination of love and consciousness to be very esoteric.
That’s why I’m pleased to have created a ‘beginner’s guide’ on this concept. Something with useful ideas that anyone can understand.
So, for the purposes of this guide, we can use the following definitions.
- Love: our inner awareness of joy and fulfillment.
- Consciousness: our inner awareness of how we – and others around us – feel in the present moment.
Of course, these concepts can be made way more complicated, but these definitions will help to keep everyone on the right track.
2. The Importance Of Loving Consciously
We often perceive love as an instinctive feeling. Something that is difficult for us to control.
However, the act of conscious love is intentful. To understand conscious love, we must begin to perceive love as a verb. Something we consciously give.
It’s human nature for our emotions to fluctuate. So, we cannot love someone unconditionally, unless we choose to do so every day.
3. We Must First Learn To Understand Ourselves Before Can Love Others
Self-understanding is a key step in the journey to loving others more consciously.
Often, we hold onto past trauma and allow unhealed wounds to block us from giving and receiving love.
Perhaps someone made us feel unworthy of love in the past. Maybe these feelings prevent you from giving love to your full potential.
This is extremely common. We all pick up and carry these emotional blocks from time to time, and this can make it difficult to connect with others throughout our life.
The first step to moving past this hurdle is to acknowledge it.
That’s why it can be so useful for people to work with a life coach or a therapist. These professionals are experts in helping us to understand why we do the things we do. Moreover, they allow us to see how these behaviors affect our ability to connect with others.
Once you have become conscious of the behavioral patterns that aren’t serving you, it becomes so much easier to alter them.
This is how we can find a way to love others better.
4. We Must Learn To Love Ourselves Before We Can Love Others
In many ways, the love we give to others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Perhaps you’ve noticed that it’s difficult to fully give your love if you don’t deem yourself worthy of receiving it in return.
What’s more, it’s hard to do anything consciously if stress and self-doubt are constantly plaguing your mind.
Maybe you’ve also noticed that personal relationships tend to thrive when both parties are at ease with who they are. That’s no coincidence.
Self-love is an action that life coaches and therapists can assist with too.
These individuals are well-trained in helping you to value yourself, accept your imperfections and unapologetically share your love with the world.
This should absolutely be an aspiration of yours, if not only for your own inner peace, but also so you can share your love fully with those closest to you.
5. How To Love Consciously
There is a great list of 100 things you can do to spread more love in your personal relationships towards the end of this creative slideshow on loving consciously.
The list includes telling people you believe in them, sharing what they did to inspire you and lifting them up during hard times.
These are perhaps the more ‘obvious’ inclusions. Still, it’s actions like these that many of us don’t do as much as we should. It’s easy to get complacent and take the people we love most for granted.
The list also includes nice gestures, such as treating a friend to lunch, going for a walk together or writing them a note of gratitude.
However, I’d argue a great first step to conscious love is to learn to be more present.
When you’re spending time together, spend it without distractions. When they talk, practice active listening. Do what you can to limit your inner dialogue and remain in the moment with them instead.
Meditation is a great practice to help you improve at this.
It might not seem like much, but presence can really help improve how people feel when they’re around you.
Every human in this universe wants to feel heard, respected, like they matter. It’s in our nature. Presence is one of the easiest and best ways to help others feel like that.
Why do you think we say “it’s the thought that counts” when referring to gifts? We mean that the act of making someone feel treasured, unique and special is often better than the gift itself.
- Communicating With Those Around You And Striving To Improve Your Relationship
It’s often said that communication is one of the most crucial pillars to a thriving relationship. Indeed, it’s one of the easiest ways to ensure that the other person will get everything they need from you – and vice versa.
When you both feel free to say what you need – and willing to change to help your partner get what they need – there’s little else in this world stopping you from thriving together.
Here is a great question to ask your partner: How well am I loving you out of 10?
Push for the truth. If you’re ranked as 8/10, for example, ask for two things you can do to rise to a perfect 10. If you’re a 7/10, ask for three things.
It takes some vulnerability for a couple to ask and provide true answers to this question. Nevertheless, this process will do a lot to keep your relationship growing stronger.
- Increasing Intimacy Within A Romantic Relationship
Intimacy is a key ingredient in conscious love between romantic partners.
Although you can experience both at the same time, sex and intimacy are not the same thing.
Intimacy requires presence and an emotional connection. Does your relationship have these?
It is common for trauma to block us from feeling free to experience intimacy. A negative past experience can cause us to fear it! Insecurities about our bodies or the desire to perform well for our partner can stop us being present with them.
It can take a lot to move past this. However, this is another issue that therapists or relationship counsellors are qualified to help couples solve.
- Is It Possible To Love Unconsciously?
The answer to this question depends on your defintion of love. Do you subscribe to the belief that love is only a feeling? Then, yes, you can feel love without doing anything to let that person know.
But is that what you desire?
It is difficult to argue against conscious love being superior. This is the secret to ever-lasting love; the decision to choose it every day.
Another question to ask is: are you willing to accept unconscious love from your partner?
There is no ‘right’ answer. I’m not in any way suggesting you should ditch a partner if they’re not meeting your expectations in this moment.
After all, a lot of people aren’t aware they’re unconscious in this sense. They don’t know the huge difference that conscious love could make to their personal relationships. This idea may be completely new to them.
It’s also very difficult to communicate the importance of conscious love to a partner. If done poorly, it may come across as ‘nagging’ and lead to conflict.
A large part of relationship counselling is the process of waking one partner up to how the other feels. Perhaps this is the solution to improving the consciousness of the loving connection in your relationship?
Here is an important truth to remember: we are only able to give love at the level of consciousness we have.
At times, it may feel like a partner or family member doesn’t love you, but that may not be true. In their mind, they may love you with everything they have. Yet, this love may only be taking place on an unconscious level.
This is something you can work on together.
Any More Questions About Conscious Love?
I hope this guide helped you to gain a stronger sense of what conscious love is – and how to increase it in your personal relationships.
If you have any questions about this topic, feel free to ask them in the comments section below.
I am very passionate about this topic and it would be great to hear what you think about it.
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